So this was another talking sculpture performance… it is getting increasingly difficult to know what to call these characters from the wood work… may be thats just what I will call them, Characters from the Wood Work. People in the housing campaign have been working with them intermittently for about five years. They seem to increasingly taking a life of their own. It felt like they were orchestrating the event, some of them have been around for 14 years with Susan Bright the lamp shade and the Bad Wolf Bucket Head. We started with a skeleton script and people working with the campaign added dialogue
It’s a street puppet show made with carved puppets from old furniture. It’s funny and serious, based on real experiences of the housing crisis. The performers are people directly affected or campaigning for housing justice. It’s engaging, visual, and gets people talking.
The Big Bad Wolf Tries it on in Newham
Intro
Scene 1
Narrator
Include Hannah background to the housing situation.
Then
Here we have the Everyday family, in a nice warm but overcrowded ex council flat which they are having to pay a huge rent to Fleece ‘Em an’ Cheetum properties which the council said was suitable.
Here we have Nelly Nogood who is the back bone of the household. (Answers)
Her daughter Moola who at times is the milk of human kindness.
(Answers)
Uncle Ron well meaning but with the sensitivity of grade 6 sandpaper.
(Answers)
His poetic friend Stewart who looks up to him.
(Answers)
And Great, great, uncle Johnny Sweet Apple 137 years old found whilst digging on an allotment.
(Answers)
Garyleena, Nellys good friend, with her green laser eyes
Play starts –
A council flat with view from window. Shows children playing people doing hobbies etc
….Johnny Sweet Apple (ancient 132) , Nelly Nogood, Young Garyleena, Brian Sharp(20) , Moola , Susan Bright (lamp shade) Ron Barrat ( annoying old git) and his friend poetic friend who looks up to him Stuart
Ron Barat -Nelly! Nelly! I can’t find any matching socks in my draw have YOU been taking them?
Throws all the socks on floor
Nelly Nogood- You doughnut! Look at the mess! I’m just trying to go out with Garyleena down the spoons for curry night and you are distracting me because you cant put things away properly!
Moola- I like odd socks me.
Garyleena- Come on Nelly let leave them to it other wise Johnny Sweet apple will start next.
Johnny sweet Apple snores so loud he wakes himself up As he snores he emits a characteristic jet of saliva.
Johnny Sweet Apple in a slow groan he sees and shows the bowls trophy he won in 1926
Johnny – OOH I remember that i do! Ha ha (Splatter Jet) i got in the local paper those were the days, i used to go down the cake shop after all those mental excursions with the old wooden balls (lets a ball role)
Moola- He he goes milking it again…..
Ron, Stewart start singing ‘Roll out the barrel, we’ll have a barrel of fun, Roll out the barrel, we’ve got the blues on the run!
Brian and Moola together -OMG that’s truly awful ! mum mum! Help!
Garyleena and Nelly -We’re off!
Scene 2 going to, in the pub and leaving
Narrator
Here we see them in the pub and they meet a new friend, Sue Bright ….
Nelly and Garyleena Together Singing in the pub –
If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain
If you think the landlords an ogre and you have have half a brain.
Come and Join our housing campaign! 2x (Second time Sue bright joins in.)
Sue Bright- Yes the rent and lack of repairs, I’m with L and Screw You and it’s hell ..(suddenly realising)Oh I didn’t realise it was so late!
Garyleena and Nelly together – We’re only round the corner come back with us, you can crash out on the sofa!
Garilena: time to get home, fancy a night cap ladies?
Susan bright: We don’t need a nightcap, we need a rent cap, before my hat is my roof.
Scene 3
Narrator
Oh my what’s that creature they got working for the housing office it looks like the Big ….Bad!……Wolf !!
the Bad Woof Appears . He changes the window scene and the buildings and estate so the estate is emptied of people and is covered in pound note signs
Bad W -(Singing to Abba tune) full pelt singing (Diana Ross style)
I Have a dream, a dream of money!
A dream of money to make me feel real!
Money is my destination!
It makes me feel so worth while!
Pushin’ through my internal darkness, you suckers can just get real!
He is accompanied the forces that drive him who alternate in snake like voices addressed to the audience-
E- Con- Money – Eee Con Mon Nee Pro Tect the Rich . He’s Controlled by us……
Mark-It- He’s controlled by us. Mark It , Mark It profits for the rich
–
(Mark-it who sniffs profit and people in the audience to exploit and E-con-money that snaps the deals)
Scene 4
Narrator
It’s early morning and Sue Bright is crashed out on sofa and the whole family and friends are asleep….
Oh my! …the wolf is at the door will they recognise it?
Bad W.. First knock Wakes Garyleena and Nelly who are hung over
Hi suite is covered with an old jacket and he wears a baseball cap a wolf in sheep’s clothing
KNOCK KNOCK
Bad W Hey dudes i got some cool proposition for you just sign here.
Reaction
-NO-
Comes again as council KNOCK KNOCK
Bad W Hey dudes-Ok i work for the council but people are at the heart of everything we do. I used to hang out with people like you in the library before closed it. We will provide lin dancing classes if you let us develop this rotten estate.
Reaction
-Rotten Estate ! It’s you that Leased out the repairs to Bleed em and Fleece them! No! on your Bike!
Comes again as fully cooperate representative of the property developer company the council has set up.
KNOCK KNOCK
YOU have no choice but to sign it is in the small print which is in stone
Moola- Not exactly the milk of human kindness is he?
Reaction
NO NO we going to stone wall you just wait and see
Children and all sing whose afraid of the big bad wolf the big bad wolf wolf
What we say is resist or resign, resist or resign. (Repeat)
They throw the net of collective action and solidarity over the Bad Woof. Johnny Sweet Apple covers him in saliva
——————-
Final voice from the darkness
It’s cold out here
It’s not getting wetter
The politicians
Are not getting better
I want to kick them in the bum
Everythime they say something dumb
Marks and Spencers sandwich platters
Whilst domestic violence
Leaves us battered
Chats behind closed doors
Going nowhere just like before
The kids from 2014
Are bigger now
Generations together fighting loud.
END
.
Andrew Cooper Unseen 